When storms come

What to hold on to and what to let go of...

Sometimes it feels as if a storm comes raging through my life, trying to mess up those things that I’m holding on to. It is then that my faith is tested…what do I really believe and can it survive the storm? Why do I follow God? Do I expect him to keep me safe from hurt? Will I still love and follow him when trouble comes and nothing makes sense?

I notice this tendency in myself to try to hold on to things that give me a sense of safety and security, things that give me the feeling that I’m in control. At the same time I notice that God lets things come into my life that start to shake everything I rely on. This becomes my battle with God, because I want him to stop doing that. I try to get his attention and tell him to make it stop, but it doesn’t stop… It is in those times that I start doubting his love and care for me.

It is in the storm that the dreams I have, start to fall apart. They are like broken glass on the floor. I kneel down and try to gather all the broken pieces and put them together again, as if I can fix it, but I can’t. They are broken and I can not mend them. How could God let this happen, isn’t He supposed to be a father who loves me, why doesn’t He help me?

Then I hear his voice: “Do you trust me?”

Do I trust him? Do I trust in his love for me? Do I trust that He is God, that He holds everything in his hands and that He knows what He’s doing? Do I trust that He can use everything in my life to bring out good… that He can weave together the broken pieces of my life and make something beautiful out of it? Do I trust that He cares? When evil is raging violently, when the ground is shaking and when all seems dark… will I trust him?

Do I want to hold on to dreams that will eventually crumble and die in my hands or do I dare to give them to God?

Then, when I finally let go, I can feel this deadly power that was trying to get a grip on me loose it’s strength. I can breathe again and God’s peace fills my heart.

"God, I will trust you."

“It is in His loving kindness that gradually shakes everything we’ve depended on for love, acceptance and security in this life, so that He alone remains our Anchor. That the things that cannot be shaken remain.” Author unknown

Song: "Surrender"
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=f_tI2NxpGWM&feature=fvsr